Doctor Check Tuesday

Good early morning, or Good late night... depending if you're waking or retiring.

I'm sort of stuck in between.

I dozed in my chair while my favorite show was on (Downton Abbey), and now when I should be sleeping, I find the need to write.  So I do.  Sleep will come in time.

February 2014

Rob's been doing okay, handling this insanely cold winter better than I am.  I worry about him slipping and falling as he takes Darby out during the day while I'm gone, but God's been protecting them both.  If it weren't for my family all being here in Michigan, I would run away in a heartbeat.  

For sure!  

We had a bit of a reprieve, with temps in the 30's for a few days as we broke out our Spring jackets...  But this very night the temps have dropped again, and they say this infamous 'polar vortex' is making another appearance for at least the next seven days and nights, with below zero temps again, and crazy-cold wind chills.  Ugh.

Rob and I will see his surgeon on Tuesday afternoon.  I wasn't sure we were going to be able to swing this appointment, but God is good.  We had a reminder call for the appointment, with an added note that any deductibles, co-pays, etc., had to be paid at check in or the appointment would be rescheduled.  If you read the previous blog, you'll remember that Rob lost his medical coverage.  I was able to add him to my policy with my part-time job, but the costs are barely within reach.  And our deductible is in the thousands.  We don't have extra 'thousands' laying around.  And just office visits are out of range right now.  So, I spent several sleepless nights wondering what was going to happen...

A very sleepy Rob & his Gypsy, 2/14

Rob needs to keep this appointment, as he's due to have a urethral wash to check for cancer cells.  This 'wash' will check the part of the urethra that was left after surgery.  The cancer had spread through the balance of the urethra prior to surgery, as well as through the bladder and into the prostrate and pelvic lymph nodes.  So we have to keep a close watch on the whole pelvic/abdominal region.  I have been praying day and night... for peace, for rest, for healing, for answers.

Then, Saturday morning, I was inner-urged to check our online bank account before leaving for work on two hours sleep, only to be blessed to find that our tax return, which wasn't due for three weeks, had been deposited that morning.  Whew (thank you, Lord).  I wonder why I waste so much time worrying when God is in control of it all anyways.  Silly me.

So, we are hoping it is at least enough to put out the current fire, and chip down the deductible as we move forward.  Relief is a nice feeling.  :)

It may take a week or so to get the test results back, and I'll update the blog when we find out.  We still need to follow up on the last bloodwork results that came back suspicious, as well as with his eye specialist.  Trying to prioritize these days.

Okay then...  I'm going to listen to a little bit of music to soothe my soul, then sneak quietly under the covers on my side of the bed.  The other side is soundly sleeping, which I am thankful for.  Though he is tired, and has headaches, and vision disturbances, and isn't able to do all he used to do anymore... I am thankful he is able to rest.  He feels good when he's sleeping.

I keep this foremost in my mind lately, a reminder from my son-in-law:

"The Lord will fight for you;  you need only to be still."

~Exodus 14:14

I sit quietly.  Still.

I pray you have a blessed week, and that you're able to enjoy... everything.


In Love and Truly Washed in Peace,

Cheri  ♥

http://youtu.be/oab9giH2cG0  --  Listen to this beautiful version of "In Christ Alone", acapella, by David Wesley.  Brings tears to my eyes and peace to my soul.  This is how I get through these days.  :)  ♥

A Few Changes, Still Okay

Hi.  

I know it's been a while again since I updated Rob's blog.  I should really go back and re-read the last one before I write anything, but I've still got lots to do before going bed, and even then, I will only touch my pillow for a few short hours before it all starts again.  So, here goes...

Rob had some blood reports come back "not good" in late fall, and although we haven't followed up on them, his surgeon moved up the CT of his abdomen/pelvis, which looked okay!  All of us, including Rob's surgeon, were relieved and thankful from what we were expecting!

The latest, and craziest, and most stressful thing of late is this:  Rob lost the medical coverage he had for his cancer treatment and screenings.  Thanks to Obamacare, they tell us "we have fallen through the cracks."  After many tears and fears and stressy explosions with people who really don't care, we didn't know which way to turn.  Then fear stepped in and I started operating in the flesh, rather than in the Spirit.  

Sparing you all the details, I was able to stop, and take some time to process everything.  And I was reminded by my daughter of something our pastor, Cal Garcia, said:

"Satan drives;  the Holy Spirit guides."

So when I have those times, (and I do have those times) when I feel under pressure to make a split-second decision, I need to just STOP everything and weigh all the consequences.  To think things through, to pray for peace and understanding and direction.  In this process, God protected me from making a decision I would have regretted.  But He provided a solution, too.  Rob and I went to dinner and talked over many different scenarios, and it's all okay. 

I was able to add Rob to my medical coverage at work... even with the stage IV cancer.  I explained it all to them, and because it was a "life event change" they let me add him on.  Now mind you, I am only part-time, and by adding Rob it more than tripled what I was paying.  And we have a large deductible, and out-of-pocket expense.  But I have faith and peace that God will continue to provide for us what we need.  Because He does.

So those stresses we were going through for this particular thing were melted into a puddle that I joyfully jumped in, sending it away for good.  And it feels awesome.  :)

He busted out laughing after this!

Rob is scheduled to see his surgeon later this month for the urethral wash, where he'll continue to be checked for returning cancer cells.  But we're both handling it all okay.  For now.  It's always easier in the quiet times.

~~~

Rob continues to be very tired, is still battling ferocious headaches, sometimes for days, and struggles with a few other ongoing issues, but all in all, he is still here.  He made it through the first year post-surgery, and for that we feel truly blessed.  We were told due to the aggressive form of cancer, that it usually returns in the first 1-2 years after surgery.  We're counting our blessings that it's remained in hiding so far.

Rob is strong and gentle, kind and caring.  Certainly not deserving of all he's got on his plate.  But he balances that plate remarkably, with a big smile and bad joke.  It's just who he is.  :)

~~~

The days have been long and short, if that makes any sense.  Long in the cold and snow department, and short in the way they disappear.  I wish I could get a handle on the days, and make them last forever like when I was a child.  Days were long then.  I could accomplish so much!  Now, I come home from work so exhausted that I fall asleep with my dinner dishes on my lap, or a pen in hand trailing a squiggly line down my to-do list for the next day.

Sometimes I let myself go to the land of self-pity, but just long enough to fill a tissue or two with tears.  Then, God picks me up... gently... and tells me it's all going to be okay.  He's working out all these beautiful details for my life, and I just need to trust Him and believe His promises, and rest in His arms.

So I do and I will.

Something else Pastor Cal said:  

"If it's not good yet, God's not done yet."

I will wait.

~~~

I will update with any changes that may occur, and for sure after his appointment with his surgeon on the 25th.  Promise.

In the meantime, stay warm and safe if you're in this crazy snowbelt we're experiencing this winter.  Realize how blessed you are to be here and to be surrounded by people who love and care about you.  

And practice random acts of kindness.  All the time.

It does the heart good... :)


In Love and Washed In Peace,


Cheri  ♥  

Once a nut, always a nut.  :)