I thank you for your kindness in respecting our absence, even though I know how you want to be updated on Rob. We've just been in that holding period between surgeries/chemo treatments, and starting back up the long process of looking for things we're hoping not to find.
Yes. We've kind of been hiding. And it's okay, because we needed to.
We've had a few little spurts of cooler weather, letting us know that Autumn is on it's way. I have mixed feelings for the first time ever, of summer coming to an end. I am not a big fan of summer at all... way too much heat for me! But this year it also means that our time of being free of the medical world is winding down. We have appointments set in September, October, November, and December with the surgeon, the oncologist, and different CT scans... All looking for something. Something. That ugly something we've pushed out of our minds for the days of heat and humidity. Reality is returning.
When we last saw Rob's surgeon/urologist, he said that the cancer generally reappears within 1-2 years of the surgery. That's why they'll be searching high and low, which we understand, and which we accept. And we'll just keep taking it one day at a time, having faith no matter what, and staying positive.
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| Rob - Yate's Cider Mill, Autumn 2012 |
Rob is doing pretty well! He really enjoys conversing with friends (old and new) on facebook, sparring back and forth, testing each other's wits on everything from music to cartoons to films to serious topics. He is still sleeping quite a bit, sometimes napping after being up for a while, usually always after showering, and always for 2-3 hours in the afternoon. He gets out of the house now and again, but he tires very easily.
His hair is continuing to fill in, much grayer then before, but at least it's come back and his thick waves are rippled up the back. Nice to see. :)
There are major changes going on with me and my job, which is part of why I've been a bit absent here, too. I know not all of you are on facebook with us, so here is a brief post I put up last week on my page:
Cheri Glass Stein
"Today I gave my two week notice at work... and it took everything in me to hold back the tears until I got back out to my car.
My co-workers are my family... They have held me, prayed for me, loved me, and helped me through so much in the three+ years I've been there, and my heart is breaking that I've had to make the decision to leave. But I had to.
I'm not able to work enough hours there to be able to pay my way in the world when I'm alone and having to face "that time." It's not anything I want to think about, but I've been in a panic trying to get all my ducks in a row. I haven't even been able to recover financially from having to take the time off work for Rob's surgery and recovery, not to mention having a reduced schedule for the four months of his chemo. And those billing people have no sense of humor when I send them crumbs rather than steaks.
So hopefully, I will be able to breathe a little easier with a better job choice with a financial future, benefits, and a chance to advance within the organization. I will work hard, because I want to, and because I have to.
I hate having to make these decisions. I am going to miss my fellow queens at the castle (Camelot), their laughter, their love... and so much more.
They are so important to me, and I love them all dearly. ♥"
My co-workers are my family... They have held me, prayed for me, loved me, and helped me through so much in the three+ years I've been there, and my heart is breaking that I've had to make the decision to leave. But I had to.
I'm not able to work enough hours there to be able to pay my way in the world when I'm alone and having to face "that time." It's not anything I want to think about, but I've been in a panic trying to get all my ducks in a row. I haven't even been able to recover financially from having to take the time off work for Rob's surgery and recovery, not to mention having a reduced schedule for the four months of his chemo. And those billing people have no sense of humor when I send them crumbs rather than steaks.
So hopefully, I will be able to breathe a little easier with a better job choice with a financial future, benefits, and a chance to advance within the organization. I will work hard, because I want to, and because I have to.
I hate having to make these decisions. I am going to miss my fellow queens at the castle (Camelot), their laughter, their love... and so much more.
They are so important to me, and I love them all dearly. ♥"
So, you see, I've had to make changes... ones I am wishing I didn't have to make. But as I told my boss, I can't have my world fall apart, and then try to figure out what to do. For my sanity, and peace of mind, I need to have things in order NOW, so that when the time comes where I will fall apart, I will be able to pull myself up and carry on, as hard and as awful as it is to have to even consider.
But I know me, and this is what I need right now.
Rob jokingly commented under my post writing, "Planning on my sudden demise, baby ?. Umm, you take the first bite of food from now on !!"
-- to which I replied, "And
Robert, dear, though I know you say these things all the time to me in
jest with that glint in your eye, I'm not planning any such thing... I
am dreading it, fearing it, cursing it... and quietly crying away the
thought of it most days - regardless of how I'm handling it on the
outside. I do love you, my gentle, Piper man...♥"
♥♥♥
Rob's sense of humor remains tightly intact, and is part of what makes him strong, and lets him deal with all he's had to go through, all he deals with daily, and all that is to come. Too much 'all' for such a gentle soul.
Well, I am off to bed. It's my last week at my old job, and I have to be up in a little over 4 hours.
I'm going to try to post at least every Sunday evening to keep you all updated a bit more. In the meantime, go out and enjoy these fleeting days of summer, and prepare your hearts for the beautiful Autumn that approaches... vistas of rolling hills filled with colorful trees, crunchy leaves for walking on and jumping in, cider and donuts, sweaters, fireplaces, and those wind-swirling Winnie-the-Pooh days that make life so much fun!
It's my most favorite season of all! :)
In Love and In Peace,
Cheri ♥
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