Oncologist Update...

Hello Dear Ones  ---


Well, Rob and I met with the oncologist late this afternoon, and we really don't know a lot more than we learned from the surgeon.  She is, however, in a BIG hurry.

Back in January 2012... so long ago now

Dr. B. wants Rob to make decisions quickly, due to the size of the mass... for she, too, said it's very large. 


So, two things need to happen next week:

1... Rob will be getting a detailed CT with contrast of the chest, abdomen, and pelvis, with her main concern being the lungs looking for more cancer spread.  This would not have shown up in the x-rays that he's been getting.  (So, my question, is why has he been getting them?  Just me asking...)  This CT has been scheduled for next Monday.

2... We are awaiting a call for a CT-guided biopsy
of lymph nodes in the mass.  They will go in through his back or side via needle.  This will tell her exactly what cancer we are dealing with.  Both she and Dr. J are pretty sure it's the same cancer as the bladder cancer, but the biopsy will tell us for sure. 

If pathology says it's a different cancer than the bladder cancer, a lymphoma, she can treat that and give him 2-3 years barring any other spread.  If it's the same cancer as the bladder cancer they found in November 2012 and January 2013, we know it has spread, and she can try to treat it with different types of chemo, depending what our insurance will cover and what she thinks he can handle.  If he tolerates it well, he can see another 6-12 months. 

If he does nothing, she said 3-6 months. 

January 2012  - Pre-cancer days

He may even start the chemo or some radiation, and not be able to tolerate it, and ask them to stop.  There are just too many "what if's" at this point in time until we get both above CT results.  But she is telling him that he has to make up his mind SOON.  

We don't have a lot of time to make decisions it seems.  I could see Rob was getting a little stressed, and a couple of times we exchanged those glances that said, "What?  Why?  No way!  What if..." and so much more in that nano second of time.  

Overwhelmed.  Overloaded.  Too much. 

We are meeting with Dr. B. again in two weeks, on Tuesday, November 11th, to go over both CT results and figure out a plan of action.

Rob asked her about the recurrence of the cancer in the left ureter, and wondering how that could be, since the kidney output seems unaffected.  She said it has not grown large enough at this point to cause a complete blockage.  Okay.  Sort of comforting.

We discussed many, many other things, and my notes were on to page two, and didn't even sound or look like the English language any longer.  I was drifting away somewhere quiet.  My hand was writing everything she said, but my mind and thoughts were frozen.  Too much, too fast.  We need TIME.  But we don't get unlimited amounts of that. We will take what we get.

But we at least have two weeks to consider things.  

These two weeks are going to drag on and disappear in a flash.


~~~~~~~~~

Okay...  Well, not the definitive answers to anything that we were expecting to hear.   *sigh*


Rob is taking it all in, asking questions, trying to sort things out.  Dealing with things pretty well, considering.  Always making jokes.  Just who he is.  He's able to just let things slide off his back so he doesn't have to carry them around.  Don't know how he does it.

One thing I have learned throughout this cancer journey so far is to have patience, have faith, deal with one day at a time, and know that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  He must know something I don't, because in the dark, quiet hours, I don't feel I'm handling anything well at all.  I am numb and tough during the daytime, and numb and reflective under the stars.  The numb just doesn't go away.

~~~~~~~~~

On a lighter note, sweet little 15-week old Riley is keeping us very busy.  He's house-training pretty well  --  for the most part  --  and learning to sit, shake, wait, come, and just look at us with that cute, "thank you for loving me" face.  He has his moments of racing around and bouncing off things, including the cat, but he's really trying to please, in his own way.  He loves to curl up in my lap and sleep, but that may not last when he reaches his 65-70 pounds!  :)

~~~~~~~~~

January 2012

If I hear back on the results before we see Dr. B. again on the 11th of November, I'll update, although I won't know exactly what it will mean.  It may be better if I wait until we meet with the oncologist, and have some clear answers as to which path Rob chooses to travel.  So, I probably won't update until the eve of the 11th.


Until then, know that your prayers are felt, are comforting, and are so appreciated.  And know, also, that you are in our prayers each day, as well.


Blessed in Life, and Wrapped in Peace...

... no matter what comes our way.


Cheri ♥

Difficult News to Share...

Hello, Dear Friends  --


Difficult news to share... 


I took a break from the blog, because it allowed me, almost, to pretend that life was normal, whatever that means.

As most of you know, Rob was diagnosed with a very aggressive stage IV bladder cancer in November of 2012.  He had two major surgeries, four rounds of chemo, and though not quite who he was before going through all that, he was able to lead a somewhat normal life for awhile.  The chemo took a toll, left him tired all the time and the fuzzy "chemo brain" never quite left.  He continued, every six months, to be poked and proded and scanned and radiated while they looked for signs of recurrence, which we were told would most likely recur within the first two years, due to it's aggressive, invasive nature.

This past June, the scans were all good.  His liver numbers have continued to climb without anyone being able to figure out why, though.  With a normal range of 0-44, his were lingering around 200+.  Recently, the number was 568, and still nobody knows why.  The CT shows many cysts on his liver, but they have been non-changing.  Rob was scheduled for his round of testing again this December.  However, I moved them up to November just in case he needed anything more, so testing could go toward our deductible which is going to reset and start over in January.  



Rob was having some bad pain a couple of times that turned out to most likely be unrelated, but something told me to move the appointments up even more.  So every Monday so far this month he has undergone blood work, x-rays, and his regular CT scan.  This time, the news was exactly what we did not want to hear...  the cancer is back.

Not only is it back, but it's back with a vengeance.  His left ureter (which was full of cancer in 2012) is collecting fluid, and they are concerned for cancer recurrence.  But more than that, his whole belly area, closer to the back, from aorta to lower abdomen, is filled with a mass of enlarged, necrotic lymph nodes...  the cancer has metastacized.

Rob's surgeon is a kind and smart man who cares deeply for Rob, and you could see how upset he was having to give us this news today.  We had seen the reports late Thursday night online, but wanted him to explain it all to us.  He wants us to see Rob's oncologist as soon as possible (this coming Monday) to discuss options:  1 - surgery, pretty much unnecessary as they know what's happening; 2 - second line chemo to try to manage symptoms;  3 - do nothing.

Either way, with or without chemo, Rob's timeline is within a year, possibly just a few months.

Devastated?  Yes.  Scared?  Yes.  Numb?  Absolutely.

In just four months we went from nothing showing up on the scans, to a whole body full of it.  Trying to hold the tears back at the surgeons office, we spoke frankly of many possibilities, but the oncologist will be able to fill in details to help Rob figure out what is the best path to follow at this point in time.  Once in the car, my angry, fearful tears came, and the sad ones continue to well up on and off throughout all these hours.

I will post more as we find out more.

Rob asked about following up on the liver issues...  His doctor said it really wasn't anything we needed to worry about right now.  We knew that, too.

 
Other happenings of late...

In August we lost sweet Darby girl, and a part of my heart that will never mend.  She loved us completely, and was the best ever companion.  It just doesn't seem right that she's no longer here.  The hurt is painful and deep and quiet... most of the time.  Tears flowed for 48 days before I could even entertain the idea of bringing a new puppy home.  Absolutely not a replacement...  but a rescue.  

So, just two weeks ago, I returned home from an adoption event with a new little black bundle... he rescued me.  Little 14-week old Riley is bringing back some smiles, and giving Rob some good exercise up and down the stairs as we potty train him.  

Riley, not Rob.  ;)

 
Just so you know...

Rob is handling this cancer news well as always, and as expected.  His sense of humor is fully intact, and he continues to use it, even if I think it's in bad taste!!!  

After being told there may only be a few months left, Rob leaned over toward the doc and asked, "So, it's okay if I have some FRIED chicken then?"  He, the doctor, and I cracked up!  And on the way home today, he said he's going to eat red meat here and there.  A-OK with me.  :)

Rob has made a few comments to me with that quiet smile... Wondering if this is his last Autumn to see and be in, thinking about having a cigarette again (which I hope he doesn't), and asking me if I'll miss him.  He said, "Facebook existed long before I got on it, and will be around long after I'm gone.  But it won't be quite as COOL a place without me. ;) "

Things he needs to know, and things he wants to think about.   

I believe we'll be having lots of talks about lots of things in these coming days.

Please, please continue to pray for Rob, and his family, and me, too.  For strength, for peace, for clear thinking...  please continue to lift us all in your prayers.  It's your prayers that have kept us lifted and kept us going through all the bumps and hurdles on this valley walk.

And as I mentioned to our family in a note earlier today...  our faith remains strong, and we know that God is in control of all things.  Because He sees the big picture, and we don't have to understand anything more than that.


In Love and Wrapped in His Peace,

Cheri (and Rob) ♥