Cycle 3, Treatment 3 of 9

It's just after 1:30am, and I find myself burning that ol' midnight oil once again.  Sometimes the mind will not shut down...  My head has to weigh a lot with all that's going on up there!

Today we went to the hospital for Rob's third chemo treatment in this third cycle.  There have been some very noticeable changes in Rob since last week... being noticed by more than just me now.  I look at him some days when he's sleeping, and for an instant, my breath stops, then I tell myself to breathe again, and I walk away quietly so as not to disturb him.  I am always checking for that rhythmic movement... can't help it.  His color is gone... he referred to himself as Casper earlier this evening.

Let's start with yesterday...

I was out shopping with Nicole after church and received a call from my friend and former co-worker, sadly sharing that my former manager's son, Matthew  --  age 9  --  passed away after fighting a brave and valiant battle with the nasty C monster.  Even typing this, I am in tears...  Too young to be silenced from this world.  So many hopes and dreams were quietly ended.  But at the same time, we rejoice that Matthew is in the arms of Jesus now... no more pain or struggles.  And though he left behind tears and heartache, in time, sweet memories will return to all who loved him.  (I am so sorry, Maher...)

I was planning on attending the funeral service this morning before coming back to get Rob for his chemo, but Rob slipped on ice outside last night as he took Riley out before bedtime... Just a freak area of ice that formed from the dropping temps.  He held tight to Riley, and used his hand to break his fall. 
(Any injury is very dangerous at this point, because all of Rob's red counts are so below normal, that he can easily bleed out from any injury.  They don't even want him shaving while undergoing his treatments.)  
Long story short (sort of), he cut his left palm and that 1/2 inch slice bled for nearly two hours... not bad bleeding, but it wouldn't coagulate as normal.  Thankfully he didn't hit his head, but slammed down hard on his hip.  I was afraid to leave him this morning for fear of any internal bleeding from the fall, so I stayed and watched him, hopefully without being too obvious.  He is much better today.  Mostly a bruised ego.  :)

Today's chemo was as expected... all red counts, as well as his WBC count are still (and again) below normal levels, and those darn granulocytes are going up again  --  it means that there's some activity in his marrow that shouldn't be there.  But it's being watched.  Rob was still okay to get his chemo treatment, and thankfully slept through most of it.  The IV had to be changed mid-treatment, because his vein was getting really irritated, and our nurse, Julie, didn't want to try putting the Taxol in that same area.

We never turn the television on in the room, but rather revel in the quietness.  Rob is usually sleeping within an hour or so, and sleeps until we leave.  Our stay is anywhere from 3.5 - 5 hours.  Today I brought a book I've been reading forever, and all my small piles to condense into one that I can work from.  I brought a small portion of a new quilting project, but I can't say too much about it because it's for my daughter's birthday on Monday, and she reads this!  I also finished up a smaller project for my oldest Granddaughter, Izzy.  She is blessed to share the same birthday with her Mommy. :)

I worked on them both most of this evening, and will spend most of tomorrow doing the same.  I always panic that I won't finish in time, but it usually works out okay.

The line was short at the in-hospital Starbucks, so we got our weekly chemo treat... and then when we get home Riley usually gets a Jumbone for staying so good in his kennel while we're away.  However, tonight I was so busy I forgot to give him that special treat.  Fortunately for him I had left his "big boy bone" out the entire day... (HUGE rawhide bone).  That bone is usually reserved as his early morning treat, to keep him busy and out of the tub while I shower.  Hey, it works. ;)

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Rob was quiet for most of the day.  Not much joking or smiling, sometimes he didn't even answer me when I talked to him.  Not sure if he doesn't hear me, or if he just doesn't want to take the effort to answer.  He is tired, has never-ending head pains, no color, and some days he is just there on the outside, if you know what I mean.  His eyes are vacant at half-mast.  He handles things much better than I would be able to, though... quiet or not.  He's fighting hard and staying positive, and still sharing corny jokes when he's up to it.  I laugh even if only he understands the humor. :) 

We will see Rob's oncologist tomorrow afternoon (Tuesday), I think just to check in (we're scheduled every three weeks in this new cycle).  I feel like screaming at her, "Look what you are doing to him!!!"  But I won't.  On the outside.  Arrgh.

I am going to ask about a stronger pain med, as what he has isn't doing the trick.  Rob got up between 8-9pm, we had dinner, he watched a bit of television as I worked away in my sanctuary, and he has gone to bed for the night.  I guess I should wrap things up and try to get some sleep, as I know Riley and Gypsy will start pestering me to get up around 5:30a... those beautiful, crazy pets.  Hopefully I'll be in bed by 2am or so, then I'll read a bit more.  It's a good book.

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Please don't waste away days or put things off or think there's always time to do what you know you should be doing.  
Because our sense of tomorrows don't always come.  

And regrets are poison to your soul.  I've had a few...♥

Embrace the new day as the blessing it is...

Thank you for your continuing prayers and love and kind words and support in all ways.  I don't think you will ever know how you've blessed our lives.

I will update quickly with news from the oncologist tomorrow, with anything that needs to be shared.

Good night, and God bless you real good.

In Love and In Peace,

Cheri ♥