Quiet Times Continue...

Hello again.  It's me.

I haven't updated much.  Things haven't changed too much, and that's good.

Rob repeated bloodwork again last month after having come off some meds to see if they were the cause of his high liver numbers.  Well, they were not.  His liver numbers continue to be high.  One of them, over 6 times the 'normal' high.  So, what now?

We need a picture day soon! (2014)

His family doctor wants him to wait and go for the pelvic/abdominal CT in June as scheduled, and then he wants Rob to see the surgeon and the oncologist, and he wants them to point-blank tell him it's not a return of the cancer.  Rob and I don't know what it is, and we don't want to figure it out right now.  His belly area is swollen on that side of his body.  Not bad, but noticeable.  Rob doesn't think so, but we see through different eyes.  I want to see through his for a while.

We will wait until the end of June to find out more details.  Until then, we'll just enjoy the doctor-free days of Spring.  

The CT that is scheduled was ordered this time by the surgeon rather than the oncologist, and by the sounds of it, seems more detailed.  I am happy about that.  I put all my doctor faith in Rob's surgeon  --  he is a good and kind and caring man, and in my book, that makes a good doctor.  There is never rushing with him, never a question that doesn't get an answer, and always time to hold our hands and explain in detail, even with drawings, anything we need to know.  He is tops on my list of good doctors.  Of good people.

Rob continues to enjoy his waking hours on facebook conversing with friends known and unknown, sharing smiles and memories of old, and most of all, the music that feeds his soul.  Even though these hours don't include me, it makes my heart happy that he's happy.  He tires easily and sleeps much, still struggles with headaches and a few other things, and he prefers to be home.  Home is a good place to want to be.  I'm glad he's home.  We go out for a bit here and there, but he tires so easily, that the time passes quickly.  *sigh*

I am mostly gone.  

2012

When I'm here, I mostly sleep.  I listen to Rob's day when I return, and follow it when I can.  You, our friends who know us well, have been supportive and loving and sharing and kind to us both.  You love and include me in your words and conversations with Rob, and most especially in the prayers for him, and it touches me deeply.  You are our prayer warriors, our battle partners, walking the front line with us and for us as one.  And I thank you so much.  

My cup runneth over... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


My daughter and her hubby are expecting blessing number three this fall, and it makes my heart smile!  It's one of those Lifesongs, you know?  Beautiful music... like the breeze in the branches, the waves in the sea, the beating of the heart.  Beautiful music.

And me?  I am running on empty.  I just went through another battle... this time with my insurance provider who changed my coverage when I went from part-time to full-time without telling me.  I fought it to the top, and they finally agreed I was wronged, and they let me correct it.  Another fire extinguished, but each one takes a toll.  Even though I win, I feel defeated from the fight.  Just a little bit.  I am under tremendous pressure at work to perform, and I'm finding I don't do well in those situations.  I need to find a fit, and so far I haven't.  But some things are more important right now, so I will stay and try harder.

My drive in to work is filled with prayer and inspirational words and music... things to fill me with that indescribable Peace and stave off the tears so I can do the day.  The tears sometimes come out... but quietly, and respectfully, and thankfully.  Not ever out of anger or pity, but just a silent release.  I am so grateful for all the blessings that surround Rob and I, even though some don't understand that.  But we really are richly blessed. ♥

I don't sleep much, though I try.  I sleep when I don't want to  --  when there are piles in front of me waiting to be worked on.  But in the wee hours of the darkness when I should sleep, I instead listen to the silence.  I feel your prayers for us each day, and I know they are what keep us keeping on.  So from the bottom of my humble heart, I thank you continually and completely.

In the past few months we have celebrated birthdays and holidays, and family gatherings... all filled with laughter and love and memories of good and happy times.  I like to store those up inside.  On hard days, I remember, and the smiles just come out.  More Lifesongs.

I've been staying away from the television more and more, as I am striving to focus on other things... things more meaningful and more lasting.  Things less noisy and less complicated.  My idea of a perfect morning would be sitting at the waters edge, watching the sunrise and listening to the waves calmly roll in.  But until I find that again, I will find my quiet where I can.  It's everywhere, we just have to listen.  Even here, in the midst of a community of people, I open the door as the sun starts to rise, and sit on the balcony.  I listen to the rustle of the breeze and the discussions of the birds as they prepare to welcome the day, and sometimes even the raindrops as they dance on the grass.  It's a beautiful, quiet symphony that God gives to us each day, if we don't let the busyness of life drown it out.  That's the music I want to hear.  That I need.  (Thank you, Lord!)

Tomorrow (Today) is my day off work, and after I take my Nicole and her babies to her doctor's appointment, we're off for a girl's day at the zoo!  So needed!  We are going to laugh and play and take pictures and act silly and make faces and eat a picnic lunch.  A lifetime of Lifesongs in a day.  

Ahhh, life is good, no matter what!

Okay, I'm way past bedtime again, and much to do before this head rests on the pillow.  So I bid you a loving and peace-filled day, and hope we can share smiles and hugs and happy memories together one day.  

Soon.  :)


In Love and Wrapped in His Peace,

Cheri ♥