Busy Week... It all begins again

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks, and I have a feeling it’s just going to get crazier...  


I am only going to try to handle one day at a time, and today (Sunday), it was a sunny and beautiful morning, birds singing, glistening frost on the fallen leaves, squirrels playing in the trees outside the window... so calming and quiet and pretty.  I love Autumn!


So... tomorrow (or today now), reality is going to make us pay attention.  Rob has the CT of his chest, abdomen, and pelvis just before noon.  This will give us a better idea of where the cancer has spread.


Tomorrow (Tuesday), Rob has the CT-guided biopsy of the large mass around his aorta/belly area.  They will be comparing this cancer to the bladder cancer from 2012 to see if it's the same.  This will, in turn, give us a clearer picture on the choices that Rob will make.


I hate all this... 

And I am not a hater.


I know I shouldn't worry, but when I listen to Rob, I do.  When I look at Rob, I do.  He never fully recovered from the last run with chemo... sleeps a lot, fuzzy thinking, doesn't feel well most of the time, pain, nausea... just not the same as he was.  He's not starting off in the place he started before, and I don't like that.  It takes my breath away sometimes.  

But don't get me wrong... he still has lots of fight, and he will fight.

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On November 1st each year, Nicole and I both decorate our homes for Christmas, and put up our trees.  It's in honor of my Dad's birthday  --  he loved Christmas, and we are able to enjoy it longer.  So last night Rob and I gathered with Nicole and her family for dinner, and Rob was able to see little Benjamin for the first time, and play with the girls for a while.  Yes, play!  They sit on the floor and play whatever games the girls devise... and he is usually a female character of some sort in their plans... LOL!  He is a good sport, though, and plays until he can't.  Then he read them a couple of books, too. :)

He tired pretty quickly, and slept all evening back at home as I finished getting the tree up and decorated into the early morning hours.  He slept most of today, too --  still not feeling the best.  But I'm glad we had that time last night, and I'm glad he held the baby and let the girls love on him.  The girls know all that's going on, and they have faith that God will take care of Mr. Rob whatever happens.  And that for this day, he was well, and that's what mattered.  :)

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There is nothing quite as peaceful to me as sitting in the glow of the lit Christmas tree in the wee morning hours when the world is sleeping... like now.  I know I should be in bed, but my mind doesn't want to stop, so I figured I'd take advantage of the time...  

I sat with Nicole's husband, Mike, today and he helped me figure out some financial things that have been quietly suffocating me.  He helped me with thoughts for the future, and he helped me get a list of priorities together, including things I have to get in motion for leave time I'll need from work when Rob needs me here.  I have been frantic on the inside trying to figure out how I am going to handle all that is coming... financially, personally, emotionally... And both Mike and Nicole told me I just need to let it all go, and concentrate on today  --  just one day at a time.  They are such blessings to me, you have no idea.  Mike rounded up my wild mind and gave me calm and decisive direction that I needed, and I love and appreciate him so very much. ♥


Well, I still have about 30-45 minutes of things to get done before I climb quietly into bed and try to read a page or two of my book before sleep comes.  Riley is in the living room with me, sound asleep, happy just to be here.  Every now and then he lifts up his head, probably wondering why in the world I'm still awake.  I love that pup!  We really needed each other at just the right time. 

God is so awesome the way He works things out for us, isn't He?  Yes... 

Whether we understand it or not.


We would so appreciate your prayers these next couple of days, and especially the days to follow as Rob contemplates all the things he's trying to juggle.  We meet with his oncologist, Dr. B, on Nov. 11th to find out what they find out.


Until we meet again, in print or in person, I bid you good tidings of great joy...



In Love and In Peace,


Cheri ♥