Chemo 2, Day 1

Second go-round day, today.

Today we left for the hospital again, to the short-stay unit, for Rob to begin his second go-round with chemo.  It was a cold and blustery day... on the inside, too.  Rob was mostly quiet on the car trip back there this afternoon.  As we walked those halls to the unit, all of a sudden, for a split second or two, he stopped as if the breath was taken away from him, and froze.  Then, he looked at me, and said, "I remember it all."  He said the hallway felt like it was pulling away further and further, and he felt disoriented and lost.  I felt a stab in my heart.

The stay today was much shorter than what we got used to last year... just over two and a half hours and we were out of there on our way home.  Rob is only getting one drug, but it's stronger than what he had last year.

One nice thing was that we saw all familiar faces in the oncology nursing staff, and they remembered us to.  They were sad to see us back, but Rob shared a corny joke or two, and was at ease again.  That was good. 

And so it goes... Nov. 17, 2014

Our nurse shared with Rob and I what to expect with this chemo round...  most likely hair loss, most likely nerve damage as in tingling in the hands and toes, not a big possibility of nausea (though they pumped him full of anti-nausea meds before his infusion), and a few other minor things.  She reminded him that this drug was going to kill his good white blood cells along with the cancer cells, so he was going to have to be careful about his immunity now being suppressed.  We've already been sanitizing everything each morning.  And he has to be very careful about cutting himself anywhere due to bleeding issues.  *sigh*

One of our favorite nurses got the IV in with just one try... that was nice, since Rob's other arm is still badly bruised from his biopsy and CT a couple of weeks ago.

Us, 11-17-14

Rob was in a good frame of mind, but more 'defeated' than I wanted to see him.  But at least the 'anger' is gone... he's moving in the right direction, I think.  I hope.  He talked for a little bit, then  slept through most of the treatment.  I kept watching him as he slept, then glanced back at the pile of papers I brought along to stay busy with.  Too many things, as usual, but I wasn't sure how long we'd be there.  When we left, he was walking a little slower, not feeling the best... but I told him he just had chemo pumping through his body  --  he wasn't supposed to feel the best.

Once home, he ate a late lunch, and went to lay down in the bedroom for awhile.  He was up for a little bit, but went to lay down again, as he's already feeling changes within.  Little bouts of dizziness and unsteadiness.  Just not feeling good... And by the way, he's feeling very nauseous, but he has been for several weeks now.  We have surmised that it may be due to the fact that the mass is pressing on his stomach at this point.

So once again, we are going to remind everyone that we prefer not to have people coming and going from our place, because Rob's immunity is going to be greatly affected, and he is going to be very susceptible to getting sick  --  and that would not be good for him at all.  It's going to be bad enough that I am working outside of the home handling money all day long...  And though I use a sanitizer all throughout the day, wash my hands, sanitize again once I'm in the car, and scrub and wash my hands when I get home,  I never feel clean enough.

I have to continue to work for now, but whenever Rob needs me to be here because he's having a hard time getting through the days, I will be here.  God doesn't give us more than we can handle, I have to keep reminding myself of that.  I'm sure glad He knows me better than I do.  I wish I could see me through His eyes... although, when I look at my daughter, I think I already know.  Love is not a big enough word.

Another reminder that we are not able to respond to comments left here on the blog, and I am not readily able to get messages sent via facebook.  I am mostly on my tablet, and cannot access private messages there, but only if I go to facebook via the internet, which I don't like to do on the tablet.

I will continue to keep progress "notes" here on the blog so family and friends can stay updated.  Tomorrow we see Rob's oncologist  --  she wants to see him each week after every treatment to see how he's tolerating the chemo.

Peace, wherever it may be...

We so appreciate your prayers and the love and support we feel holding us up during this part of the journey... thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Please pray for strength for Rob, for wisdom, and mostly, for peace throughout his body and mind.  Peace is what Rob is all about, and he needs to be filled with it, too, on those days when he can't seem to find it.

We love you all.


In love and washed in peace,

Cheri  ♥