Ready to Go

Tomorrow we head to the hospital for the start of Round Two!  

It's the day of both chemo drugs, and lots of IV anti-nausea and IV water "flushing," as Rob will once again also get the one drug that can do major damage to his kidneys.  But he is ready to get this done... me, too.  It will be a 7-8 hour day for us, so I have a pile of books and magazines, and snacks and lunches ready to go.  And my camera and laptop, of course!

Rob's blood counts have continued a very slow decline each week.  At the oncology appointment yesterday, we found out that Rob's red blood cell count (as well as another one or two) have now fallen below the 'normal' range.  But his doctor believes it's not low enough to be worried about yet, so we are good to continue with the treatments as planned.  So, even though Rob had the "rest" last week (no chemo or oncology appointment), the previous treatments are still continuing to affect him as they build up in his system.  The nauseousness has become a part of each day now, and doesn't seem to subside for more than an hour or so, if at all. 

We also found out that only about 12 percent of people have the problem with hair loss  -  of course  -  which Rob is continuing to experience, too.  He still has his ponytail, it's just a skinny one now.  :)

Rob will go in for another body scan about a month after the last round of chemo... late spring, early summer.  We are really praying for good results!

It's been nice to kind of lay low this past week.  And even though he had to see his primary doctor regarding his blood sugar, it was nice to not have the cancer monster staring us in the face for a change.  It's always hanging around us, just out of view, in the shadows.  It's a quiet beast, but we can feel it lurking, keeping us on edge, making people uncomfortable when they try to talk with us, and making us think about things we don't want to think about.  

So last week, we chased him away and had a few peaceful days.  

It was very nice.

We are still kindly and compassionately asking people to hold off visiting... which we understand is hard to understand.  There are so many illnesses going around, though, and we are so afraid Rob will pick up a bug from someone who may not even realize they're bringing something in.  If Rob gets sick, his body is not in the place where he can fight off infections too easily, and it will also affect his being able to continue on schedule with his treatments.  The mere fact that I have had to return to work is bad enough, as I work with the public.  I am constantly washing my hands raw and disinfecting everything in sight.  And I'm taking a handful of extra vitamin C each morning to try to help me stay healthy.  We are just trying to be cautious  --  maybe overly  --  but this is the first time we've had to deal with stage 4 bladder cancer.  I pray, sincerely, that none of you ever have to be in our shoes. 

I try not to be consumed with worries and fears, but in my weakness, they try continually to creep back in.  These are the times I drop to my knees and seek the only Strength that works... that keeps me going when all I want to do is curl up in a ball of tears.

I continue to pray for you all... whether I know your voice or not.  Your prayers are keeping us going, are keeping Rob strong throughout this journey, and help us to both breathe a bit easier.

In Love and In Peace,

Cheri  
♥