Short and Sweet!!!

Well, just a quick, short, and sweet blog update tonight...


We saw the oncologist today to go over the MRI of the swelling on Rob's arm, and for the first time in a long time, we received GOOD NEWS after testing!


The swelling is NOT cancer in Rob's arm!  It is a blood clot, which in itself sounds dangerous, but it is located in a superficial vein, and cannot break off and lead to a stroke or heart attack.  So it's all COOL!!!  (Ahhh, yes... the old hippie still lives within!)

Back on Day One of Chemo... Feb. 21st, and  most likely a repeat "PRAISE!" to be seen on May 30th!

Rob's still dealing daily with nausea, but handling it well by eating and sleeping... alot.  But if it works, then I say, "Go Baby!" :)

We will have the last chemo treatment of Round 3 this Thursday, and then a week to rest with NO APPOINTMENTS (as of now!).  Then the following week we will start Round 4, and hopefully that will be the last of it.  It's what we're hoping for.  And praying for.

We already scheduled other upcoming appointments, too.  Tuesdays in June are already full!  Rob will have another body scan (chest, abdomen and pelvis) the week following his last treatment of Round 4 to check for any cancer, and then meet with Dr. B to go over the results.  We'll also be meeting with his family doctor to follow up on diabetes care (among other things), and also meeting with Rob's surgeon who will be doing some testing and sending samples to pathology.  I'll fill you in on details as they come.

On the homefront...
We got the apartment we wanted, and will be moving by the end of May.  It's a two bedroom unit, which means I will have a quilt room/studio again... my escape in times of stress!!!  We are being blessed tremendously by Rob's family who are hiring movers for us.  At first, I wasn't comfortable with this, as I don't ever like to ask for help, let alone embrace it.  But in reality, I didn't know how I was going to pull off having to pack and move, even with the blessing and muscles of my dear and precious son-in-law, Michael.  I just seem to be lacking in energy, and have a hard enough time carrying myself around, let alone boxes and furniture.  So I am learning to accept the blessings that God puts on other peoples hearts to help.  And I am eternally grateful.

Well, so much for short.  Hopefully it was sweet.  ;)

Thank you all so very much, for all you have done to help us... from prayers to financial help to groceries to meals...  We couldn't have made it this far without each and every one of you.  

I don't know why things happen the way they do in this earthly life.  But what I do know, is that in all things I learn...  Sometimes I learn patience, sometimes how to love.  I've learned not to depend on just myself when God has put so many beautiful people in our path.  I have learned to be humble, and grateful, and how to rest in His precious peace.  My son-in-law shared a verse with me the other night when I needed it most  --  I don't know how he does that!  I find it lingering hourly in my thoughts...

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14)

I breathe this in and feel it working instantaneously.

Have a beautiful week!  I will be back to update after chemo this Thursday.


In Love and Deeply Washed in Peace,

Cheri ♥

Contemplative Day

Hello dear ones...

I promised to update after each chemo treatment, and the night almost got away from me.  Almost.  Well, technically it's tomorrow, but I'm still finishing today.  :)

We left for Rob's treatment a bit late  --  my fault  --  but we got there in time to check in and get settled in our own little room.  The IV was started without a problem, and there were just three little bags today.  However, once they started the chemo drug bag, Rob was experiencing quite a bit of pain again, in the vein just above the IV site in his hand up toward his elbow.  So they slowed the infusion rate down, and wrapped his arm in a warm blanket to help with relaxing the veins and the bloodflow.  It went well after that, and we were back home within 3 hours from when we left.

Rob spent the afternoon sleeping.  He stirred for 10 minutes or so, then went back to bed.  He woke up in time for us to share a late dinner, and we enjoyed watching a few television shows together.

Rob's nausea is still there, still bad.  We've now added a 'patch' along with the other three anti-nausea meds.  The patch is used for motion sickness, but the oncologist said it may help some with the nausea, too.  It's worth a try to take away some of his suffering.  

The lump on his arm has not changed... still large and red and sore.  The MRI is tomorrow night, and we're hoping they can give us at least some information.  Otherwise, we will wait to meet with the oncologist next Tuesday morning to find out the results.

Today's chemo treatment...
♥

Please keep Rob lifted and surrounded in prayer.  He is understandably angry, very depressed and on edge.  He said he can't relax until he knows for sure what's going on in his arm.  That will determine not only the future treatments he will choose or deny, but his future in itself.

He is hurting, and it makes me hurt.  I watch him often when he doesn't see me watching.  I act strong around him, you know... all in charge and in control.  But I'm not.  I'm hiding behind that persona.  I quietly wipe away the tears as I help to gently try to get the tangles out of his hair and instead end up with more in my hand than I've seen before.  It's just sliding out through my fingers without any tugging.  Just touching.  I see him as he's gently rubbing his belly while he watches TV, just trying to get the nauseous feeling to stop.

But worst of all are his eyes.  They are sad and distant, and I don't know how to make it better.  He says he just has to work through this right now.  So I will do all I can do... I will be here.  I'll take care of him to the best of my ability.  I'll accept his anger and sadness knowing that it's helping him.  One nice thing that made us both smile today:  He only has a total of four more treatments with a week of rest in the mix.  We can get through just four more.  If all goes according to plan, the last treatment will be the end of May!

Okay, on the homefront...  

I promised to fill you in.  The short and now sweet version: our lease is up the end of this month and we're moving.  The new management company has agreed to give us another month so Rob can finish up his chemo.  We are so thankful for that!  We've found another place we're hoping to get in to, almost twice the square-footage, and closer to my daughter and both my sisters, and their respective families.  I need to be closer.  I need them around me, and me around them.  My strength comes from God and God alone.  But He also blessed me with a wonderful family, and they make it all real.  

Having an apartment with more room will be a blessing in itself.  I have things to sell and deposits to finagle, but I know that somehow it will all work out for good.  Rob and I saw this place a few weeks ago, and it's peaceful, and surrounded in trees, with a balcony we can use year-round that overlooks a beautiful courtyard of pathways and benches.  And it's still close enough that I can stay at my job.  It will just give me a bit longer drive time...  time to let go of whatever kind of day I've had, so I can be who Rob needs me to be when I get home.  That's what matters.

Thank you so much for the prayers.  You are giving Rob and I the strength and support and peace that we need.  You're straightening out the path before us, taking away the bumps and sinkholes, and keeping our hearts filled with love.

I don't remember ever feeling as loved and cared for as we do right now.  

Because of the blessing of you.

Thank you. ♥


In Love and In Peace,

Cheri ♥  
          

It was just a bump...

We were in the ER last night from 10:30pm until just after 3am this morning.

Yesterday, Rob woke up and had a "bump" on his right forearm.  It was a little sore, and very tender.  He hadn't hit it on anything, just woke up with it that way.

When I got home from work last night, it was redder than I remembered from the morning.  And still very tender.  So I put my nose in my papers on the chemo drugs, and the pages told us to call Rob's doc if he had swelling in one arm or one leg.  So we called...

We were told to get to the ER.  We did.  There were initial words of blood clots, or the phlebitis acting up after the initial chemo treatment where it damaged his veins in the same arm.  And after more than four hours we were told things we hadn't even considered.

Rob had MORE blood work done and he's still anemic with low red counts, which explained why he kept bleeding when they put in the IV to get the blood work.  Surprise.  He also had an x-ray which showed "cortical lucency" of some sort.  And the doppler ultrasound showed a blood clot in a superficial vein, so no worry about heart attacks or strokes.

So here is what we were told by the ER doctor:
Something showed up on the x-ray in the bone that is unexplained and needs further study.  She said she spoke with the on-call oncologist, and it's likely with Rob's history, that the cancer spread to the bone in his arm, which would cause the clot to form over that area.  We were told to get in to see his oncologist today.  So we did.

Waiting to see Dr. B today...
♥

She, Dr. B, was upset that the ER doctor told us that.  She agreed that it is a possibility, but that it could also be an infection (though he's running no fever and his white counts are great).  But he also has some red 'dots' on his forehead that could be a sign of infection, too.  So Rob is on antibiotics for a week, he's having an MRI at 9:20pm Friday (they're soonest opening), and we will see Dr. B again next Tuesday morning to see what's really going on.


Needless to say, Rob is upset.  Upset at the possibility that even with all the poisons he's being pumped full of, the beast can survive.  That even with all the suffering, all the non-stop nausea, the weakness, the fact that he's sleeping most of the time, it's just not enough.

I am trying to comfort him, trying to let him know that we don't know right now anything other than he has a sore bump on his arm.  We have to take one day at a time.  Even between the anger and the tears.  Just each day for what it is.  A new day.

He has decided that he will not get MORE chemo added to this walk he's on.  And he will NOT get radiation.  If the beast is fighting back, he's going to try more holistic approaches first.  He's just so sick of being so sick.

Please pray for peace for Rob, and for wisdom, and for the voice of God to be clear to him.

So much more is going on right now, but I am so tired.  So I will save our stories of the homefront, wherever that may be, for a later time.  I have to be to work just before 7:30am, and I'm running on only three hours sleep since I woke up on Monday morning.  *sigh* and *yawn*  :D  (Big grin!)

Okay...  Good night dear ones.  You keep us both lifted and give us strength for each day.  There are not enough words in all the world to thank you in the way we want to thank you.

Sweet, blessed dreams to you all.

In Love and In Peace,

Cheri ♥