Time is getting so far away from me. I am running and running, but I can't seem to make that jump to get back on the bandwagon. This morning I took some time to regroup, and it's working. Some.
Last week, Thursday, was the last day of round two of chemo for Rob. We are at the halfway point, and so happy about it! All of Rob's red blood counts continued to drop, all below normal now, as well as his white blood count and the platelets. We knew this was coming, which is why we are working so hard to keep germs/viruses/bacterias away from him. We don't want him getting sick, and we don't want any of the remaining chemo treatments to be postponed. Rob just wants to be DONE. Done with the poking and proding, done with the poisons ravaging his bloodstream, done with having his energy sapped and his strength depleted. Just done.
I met my daughter at the hospital last Thursday morning so I could spend some time with my grandbabies while she had to see a doctor she was referred to. Then after hugs and waves, I ran home to get Rob, and went back to the hospital for his chemo treatment. And this chemo went very well for a change! I think it was due to Sister Bear.
Here's the story:
When Rob was in the hospital recovering from the second surgery in January, there was a time or two that I morphed into "Mama Bear" - trying to snap Rob out of the darkness and back to life. Yes, I have it in me when I have to. And by my side for most of those days was Rob's sister Holly... my support and strength, too. So she has become "Sister Bear." And Sister Bear and her David flew in from California last week and were able to be with us during the chemo stay on Thursday. Holly needed that as much as Rob and I did. Minor difficulties with the pain as the chemo entered, but slowing down the IV did the trick. But I think the best medicine Rob had going for him was the laughter he shared with Holly. At one point he asked her to feel the hardened veins in his right arm from the chemo leakage. As soon as she touched his arm, he screamed in pain, Holly was instantly distraught, and Rob burst out laughing! David said he KNEW that was going to happen! Yes, his joking ability is fully intact! Anyways, just seeing her and knowing she was there calmed the day.
Holly and David were also able to come by and spend some hours with Rob on Saturday while I worked, before flying back to sunny Cal. Then Rob's brother Stu, who has been more than a blessing to us during all of these cancer days, was able to come by on Sunday to visit with Rob. Those times with Stu are always a comfort to Rob... to have his big brother close by to give him strength through these scary days. It really means a lot to him to have his siblings walking this road with him. Mind you, there are masks and lots of disinfecting going on, but none of that gets in the way of Rob being loved unconditionally and completely. He is truly a blessed man.
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| Rob, pre-trimmer... Keep reading! ♥ |
So this week will be a bit quieter... no doctors for Rob, no chemo treatments. I will meet my daughter at the hospital again on Thursday to play with Izzy and Ally as she has some imaging tests done, then I'm taking her for some bloodwork. Other than that, I will spend time getting caught up around the house. Hopefully making some piles disappear. But most of all, spending some quiet time with Rob on my days off. Maybe some movies, hopefully some walks. Maybe even some naps that I can join in on.
One of the joys that Rob has is spending time on the computer, conversing through the keyboard with friends near and far, and listening to his music... almost like an oxygen that he needs to be complete. And I am so thankful that he has that outlet. For his peace, and his calm. To bring him added laughter and joy. However, the desk he was using, the only one we had, was part of the bedroom set that he had as a teen... from when we dated, in fact! And for those of you who don't know Rob, he is a big man, tall, and his knees were not made to comfortably fit under that desk anymore. So I got to planning...
To make more room for the desk I wanted, we also needed to get rid of one of the dressers from the set. And I figured we could get the most for the whole 6-piece set rather than sell it off one piece at a time. Sooooo..... I listed it all on Craig's List, and sold the entire package, along with another livingroom chair and miscellaneous odds and ends. Then my daughter and her family took me in their van to Ikea (love that store!), and with a little finagling and some scrimping and saving, I was able to get him a nice, big desk, and two chests-of-drawers that were much less space-invading and still cost effective! The only drawback was that it took me over 7 hours to assemble it all, and my ol' joints are still hurting!
But the mission was accomplished! Rob can now sit comfortably, in the new chair and the new desk, listening to his music on new speakers that replaced the headphones he had (if you remember, he can't have anything close to his ears during the chemo and for a year afterwards, due to the hearing-damage that can happen from one of the chemo drugs). It makes me happy to make Rob happy... to make sure he's comfortable and able to do things he enjoys, things that give him joy and fulfillment as he handles these valley days away from the germs.
Thank you to all who helped me be able to do this for my husband. I want all of his days to be good days. It's true that money can't buy happiness, but once in a while, a little bit for a good cause can do wonders.
As for apartment hunting, we are holding off until this week when we are due to hear back from the gent who's handling the leases for our complex while it's on the market. We want to see what he has to offer. We are limited on what we can spend right now, so I hope it's something we can work out... just to save Rob from all the emotional stress of moving. And how do I feel about moving? Well, I am already exhausted, so on that line, I'd rather stay. But I try to look at each new day as an adventure, and I love adventures! So if that's what is meant to be, it will all be okay, and something will be out there waiting for us. I have faith in that. It's my faith that gives me that faith.
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I am praying Rob will regain some strength this week so he can get through the last two months of treatments that are staring us in the face. We know each time is going to get harder on his body, and it's hard to understand how that could possibly be, but each time Rob undergoes a treatment, we find out.
Rob is a very strong man, inside and out. He is a good man, a loving man, and even with all he is going through, he remains positive and hasn't lost his zany sense of humor! He can find joy in all the little things, and he always looks for the brighter side of a story. He is happy and content with whatever cards he's dealt, and makes the best of everything he encounters. He doesn't let stress get to him, and even with the walk he's on, his compassion for others who are hurting astounds me.
He is still dealing with quite a bit of nausea every day, but getting used to it, if that's even possible. And he naps. Lots of naps. But he feels good when he's sleeping, so he must need it. His body is at war within, so I say let him rest on the outside so he can fight the battle inside. Sleep, my Piper... Sleep. I'll tell you the Piper story later... :)
One final note today... Rob went in to use his beard trimmer the other day, and came out looking years younger with an almost clean-shaven face! Seems a certain part didn't get put in place on the trimmer, "... but it will grow back!" he says. These chemo-brain moments are rather amusing... sometimes!!!
Be blessed, dear ones, because you really, truly are.
In Love and In Peace,
Cheri ♥
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