Life Today

It's been quiet.  At home, at work, internally and externally.  Needed.  Somewhat.

So, there's a bit of catching up to do.  Today Rob had two appointments:  a halfway-check for his hearing, and a check-in with his surgeon.

The audiology appointment went very well.  Rob's hearing was at risk of being permanently damaged from the one strong chemo drug he has at the start of each round... but so far, at almost the halfway point, his hearing has not changed!  And for that, we are so thankful!  Rob still has to let them know immediately if he hears any ringing or high-pitch tones in his ears, which is a sign of damage being done.  

It was so nice to check in with Rob's surgeon today, Dr. M. Jafri.  He is a wonderful man and doctor, who gives of his time unrushed as if you are his only patient.  His compassion is not seen in many doctors these days, and his approach is truly from a spirit of care and concern.  He was happy to see us, as our last visit was shortly after the surgery where we got the pathology report about the cancer being stage 4.  At that time, Rob was still not sure whether he was going to have the chemo or not.  Dr. Jafri said he was very happy when he found out through the oncologist that Rob decided to go ahead with it... because he said to us today that without the chemo, Rob didn't have very much time at all.  He explained that because the cancer was so aggressive, the chemo is buying Rob some time, which is good.  We will take the time given and be blessed in it.

We will see the surgeon again about a month after the last treatment, around the end of June.  Rob will have a procedure that will check for cancer cells in the part of the urethra that remains.  I guess it's protocol in Rob's case, and we were prepared to understand that it's a possibility, but we will, of course, pray for a better outcome.

Dr. Jafri told Rob that this chemo cocktail he's receiving is a rough one.  Rob knows.  He also said that it will most likely continue to get worse with each treatment as it builds up... but that it will get better when he's done.  We appreciated hearing that.  We can prepare.  As much as possible.  At least we know.

Rob is still having quite a difficult time with nausea.  Zofran, which is usually one of the best, is just not working for him anymore.  The new drug, Composine, is working much better for him  -  taking the edge off  -  and it's what he prefers, even with the added side effects.  It's a time of picking and choosing.

As we sit together this evening, Rob said he feels like he's behind himself...  Like he just can't get his body and spirit in synch.  Yes, he knows it sounds strange.  But real, nonetheless.  I can only touch him, and tell him how sorry I am.  And pray for him  --  which I do all day every day in every way.  I keep the tears to myself.

Last fall at the cider mill  -  Rob just loving all that we're blessed with.
♥

And what's going on in the rest of our world?  

Well, our dog, Darby, who turns 11 in a couple of weeks, started getting sick on and off again... but doing great the last couple of days (PTL!).  Our fish, Juno, is dying and I've done all I know how to do and I can't even make him better.  This morning, for an hour, I talked to him as my tears splashed into his water.  He's trying to be better.  He looks at me, follows me with his eyes, but his body is giving out on him and my heart is broken.  You may think by reading this that I should not be upset about 'just a fish.'  But he is part of our family, and it is a life, and it is all very precious to me.  I don't want to lose anything more.  I'm too fragile in spirit right now.

I've spent the weekend searching for a new apartment for us, as our lease is expiring this month and we never heard about renewing it from the landlord or the 'new' management company.  It's a bit of a trick, since we have a cat and a 65-pound dog, but God has something good in store for us... I can just feel it!  So, I keep looking and calling and staying open minded about it all.  I have people lined up for a move if it comes to that, so Rob can continue to rest.  Although  knowing him, I'll have to be strong to make him sit on the sidelines.  I'll win that one.  ;)

So life goes on, and we are so thankful for that.  And so blessed in that.  Thank you for your calls and your prayers... for sharing your laughter with us, and your lives.  

You truly and completely touch our hearts and lift our spirits.  You help to turn the gray days into sunny Spring days.  We need those... we love the distractions from our reality.  

We love that your prayers help us to see the sunshine on the days when we wake with clouds in the way.

Thank you.


In Love and In Peace,

Cheri ♥