I promised to update after each chemo treatment, and the night almost got away from me. Almost. Well, technically it's tomorrow, but I'm still finishing today. :)
We left for Rob's treatment a bit late -- my fault -- but we got there in time to check in and get settled in our own little room. The IV was started without a problem, and there were just three little bags today. However, once they started the chemo drug bag, Rob was experiencing quite a bit of pain again, in the vein just above the IV site in his hand up toward his elbow. So they slowed the infusion rate down, and wrapped his arm in a warm blanket to help with relaxing the veins and the bloodflow. It went well after that, and we were back home within 3 hours from when we left.
Rob spent the afternoon sleeping. He stirred for 10 minutes or so, then went back to bed. He woke up in time for us to share a late dinner, and we enjoyed watching a few television shows together.
Rob's nausea is still there, still bad. We've now added a 'patch' along with the other three anti-nausea meds. The patch is used for motion sickness, but the oncologist said it may help some with the nausea, too. It's worth a try to take away some of his suffering.
The lump on his arm has not changed... still large and red and sore. The MRI is tomorrow night, and we're hoping they can give us at least some information. Otherwise, we will wait to meet with the oncologist next Tuesday morning to find out the results.
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| Today's chemo treatment... ♥ |
Please keep Rob lifted and surrounded in prayer. He is understandably angry, very depressed and on edge. He said he can't relax until he knows for sure what's going on in his arm. That will determine not only the future treatments he will choose or deny, but his future in itself.
He is hurting, and it makes me hurt. I watch him often when he doesn't see me watching. I act strong around him, you know... all in charge and in control. But I'm not. I'm hiding behind that persona. I quietly wipe away the tears as I help to gently try to get the tangles out of his hair and instead end up with more in my hand than I've seen before. It's just sliding out through my fingers without any tugging. Just touching. I see him as he's gently rubbing his belly while he watches TV, just trying to get the nauseous feeling to stop.
But worst of all are his eyes. They are sad and distant, and I don't know how to make it better. He says he just has to work through this right now. So I will do all I can do... I will be here. I'll take care of him to the best of my ability. I'll accept his anger and sadness knowing that it's helping him. One nice thing that made us both smile today: He only has a total of four more treatments with a week of rest in the mix. We can get through just four more. If all goes according to plan, the last treatment will be the end of May!
Okay, on the homefront...
I promised to fill you in. The short and now sweet version: our lease is up the end of this month and we're moving. The new management company has agreed to give us another month so Rob can finish up his chemo. We are so thankful for that! We've found another place we're hoping to get in to, almost twice the square-footage, and closer to my daughter and both my sisters, and their respective families. I need to be closer. I need them around me, and me around them. My strength comes from God and God alone. But He also blessed me with a wonderful family, and they make it all real.
Having an apartment with more room will be a blessing in itself. I have things to sell and deposits to finagle, but I know that somehow it will all work out for good. Rob and I saw this place a few weeks ago, and it's peaceful, and surrounded in trees, with a balcony we can use year-round that overlooks a beautiful courtyard of pathways and benches. And it's still close enough that I can stay at my job. It will just give me a bit longer drive time... time to let go of whatever kind of day I've had, so I can be who Rob needs me to be when I get home. That's what matters.
Thank you so much for the prayers. You are giving Rob and I the strength and support and peace that we need. You're straightening out the path before us, taking away the bumps and sinkholes, and keeping our hearts filled with love.
I don't remember ever feeling as loved and cared for as we do right now.
Because of the blessing of you.
Thank you. ♥
In Love and In Peace,
Cheri ♥
"The doctor has been licensed from Above to heal, not to make predictions.
ReplyDeleteIgnore the predictions and think only good thoughts." The Rebbe