Again Already

Where is the time going?  This past week flew by.  I can't believe tomorrow is another chemo day already.  It is.

As each week goes by, I see the toll these poison potions are taking on Rob.  His voice change came on slowly after the double blast last week, but it is lingering this time.  And he's sleeping.  A lot.  He seems to rest and nap more than he's awake these days, but that's probably a good thing.  Because he doesn't have to stay in this reality for too long.  He can escape, if even for just a little while.

I cut off the remains of Rob's ponytail earlier this week.  That was a hard one.  But I shaped the ends and layered the back so it lays nicely at the nape of his neck.  It's weird how all his dark locks are the ones that left, and just the gray, wispy ones held on.  Most of them, anyway.  

Tomorrow when we get to the hospital, they'll check Rob's blood to see where his counts are.  If they are too low, he'll get the injection of the Aranesp (Procrit).  That's the one that will hold off his need for a transfusion.  But it also has all the bad side effects that he had to literally sign off on last week:  cancer reoccurring quickly, heart attack, stroke, dying sooner than expected  --  all high possibilities.  But he's so tired of feeling so bad, that he's not afraid of it.  That's what he told me tonight.  I, however, am.  But I will have faith in the fact that he's choosing what he needs to choose.  And I will stand by his decision and by his side. 

There are just two more treatments in this last round.  Just two more.  Then he can rest, and regain his strength, and get back to who he is.  Was.  Is.  Just two more.  Just two.  Please keep Rob wrapped in prayer for healing, for strength, for wisdom and guidance and direction... in all things.

In this last week we also lost a dear lady friend, a school mate from Rob's youth, who fought valiantly, and courageously, and positively against the C monster.  We were going to get together and meet face to face when she was feeling better and Rob was feeling better.  But that didn't work out like we hoped it would.  

We will meet someday, just in a better place.  

They're everywhere... ♥

Though I never had the opportunity to meet Debby in person, we shared lives through type, and I could see the smiles in the words I read.  She loved her husband and daughter and family and friends... she loved life and enjoyed it to the full!  I am sad but blessed to have been able to be a part of her.  Rest in peace, dear Debby.  You touched me for good.  ♥

Rob stayed awake with me through "Chicago Fire" tonight... almost like a date!  LOL!  He's always a little apprehensive  --  about everything  --  the closer the chemo days come.  But tonight he was doing great, smiling a bit more, and even joking his bad jokes.  ;)

Praying tomorrow is a good today, with high-enough counts, no bad injection reactions, only one IV poke, no pain with infusion, and a short stay in the Short Stay.  Not that we don't love the nurses there, because we do.  We would, much rather, be at home. 

Be blessed  --  in good and bad, happy and sad, abundance or little.  There is good everywhere, sometimes it just takes you as the key to keep that door open.

Goodnight... :)


In Love and In Peace,

Cheri ♥